In today’s polarized political climate, basic respect and decency often become casualties of ideological battles. This is particularly evident in discussions surrounding transgender rights and the treatment of public figures like Rep. Sarah McBride, the first openly transgender state senator in U.S. history.
While some conservatives have made a habit of misgendering her as a form of political protest, my father—a lifelong conservative—would never have stooped to such a level. His values, deeply rooted in personal responsibility and mutual respect, serve as a reminder that decency transcends political lines.
Respect Shouldn’t Be Political
The notion that one must agree with someone’s political or personal identity in order to treat them with respect is flawed. My father, who held firm conservative beliefs for his entire life, understood that fundamental courtesy was not contingent on political alignment.
He may not have agreed with every policy McBride supports, but he recognized that using someone’s correct pronouns and acknowledging their identity was simply a matter of basic human decency.
In contrast, some modern conservative figures have weaponized misgendering as a means of political defiance, insisting that refusing to recognize a transgender person’s identity is an act of free speech. But what they fail to see is that such behavior doesn’t strengthen their argument—it weakens it.
Deliberate misgendering does not demonstrate ideological conviction; it reveals a refusal to engage in good faith discourse.
The Difference Between Principles and Cruelty
My father believed in limited government, fiscal responsibility, and traditional values. But he also believed in treating people with dignity, no matter who they were. He understood that disagreeing with someone’s life choices or identity did not grant permission to demean them.
This is where some conservatives today have lost their way. The line between principled conservatism and outright cruelty has blurred, with some seeing hostility as a badge of honor. The conservative movement, once grounded in ideas and policy, is increasingly defined by antagonism.
But my father’s conservatism was not about owning the opposition—it was about personal integrity. He would have seen misgendering as a petty, mean-spirited act, unbecoming of someone who truly believes in the values of respect and personal responsibility.
Transgender Rights and the Conservative Divide
The discussion around transgender rights within conservative circles is more nuanced than some would admit. While many conservatives oppose policies related to gender-affirming care for minors or transgender participation in sports, there is still a significant faction that believes in the core principle of “live and let live.”
My father fell into the latter category. While he may have been skeptical about certain legislative proposals, he had no interest in personally attacking or demeaning transgender individuals. He understood that public figures like Sarah McBride are real people, deserving of the same level of respect as anyone else.
This approach is not unique to him. Polls indicate that while conservative voters may disagree with certain aspects of LGBTQ+ policy, many still support basic protections for transgender individuals against discrimination. The loudest voices on social media do not necessarily reflect the beliefs of all conservatives.
Why Decency Matters in Political Discourse
The misgendering of Sarah McBride and other transgender figures is a symptom of a larger issue: the decline of civility in political discussions. When personal attacks replace substantive debate, everyone loses.
My father believed that political discourse should be rooted in facts and ideas, not in personal insults. He often expressed his disagreements with the left in ways that were sharp but never cruel. He understood that the moment you resort to name-calling or purposeful disrespect, you have already lost the argument.
This lesson is one that today’s conservative movement must reclaim. The ability to challenge ideas without demeaning individuals is what makes a political philosophy compelling. Those who reduce their platform to taunts and mockery may find temporary satisfaction in their cruelty, but they do nothing to advance meaningful policy or improve the lives of their constituents.
A Call for a More Respectful Conservatism
There is a path forward for conservatism—one that doesn’t require abandoning principles but does demand a return to dignity and respect. Misgendering Sarah McBride or any other transgender individual does nothing to strengthen the conservative movement. If anything, it alienates potential allies and distracts from the real policy debates that matter.
My father’s conservatism was built on respect, even for those with whom he disagreed. He taught me that integrity was not about proving a point at someone else’s expense but about standing firm in one’s beliefs while treating others with kindness.
Today’s conservatives would do well to remember that lesson. Respect costs nothing, but it can mean everything in a world increasingly divided by hostility. Sarah McBride deserves the same level of decency as anyone else—not because of politics, but because she is a human being.
For further discussion on respectful political discourse, visit Pew Research Center.
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